Have finally gotten round to writing this, so how was Christmas in New Zealand’s North Island, I hear you ask? Well, it was pretty damn tip-top. The natural environment is far more forgiving than our own kill-you-six-ways-from-Sunday-if-you-take-a-wrong-turn Aussie wilderness. The coastline is more jagged and intricate than a teenager’s moods, full of fascinating variety and hidden gems. The rural countryside is picturesque and chock-full of hobbits. Okay, maybe I made that up about the hobbits. But you wish it was true, don’t act like you don’t.
And, in the short-ish time I was there, the Kiwi culture felt (to me) the way I remember Australian society feeling when I was a wee tacker – a bit more chilled, less complicated, more make-do-with-what-you’ve-got, more appreciation for simple pleasures. Probably a massive over-simplification from the wannabe anthropologist writing this guff, but that’s how it struck me.
Here’s what I got up to (there’s a lot, so the humour’s lacking – just look at the pretty pictures, willya?!?):
Spent Christmas in Auckland
- Flew in late Christmas Eve, met Sarah’s lovely family for the first time
- Spent Christmas day unwrapping pressies and eating nosh ensconced in their home at Mission Bay.- Had a crack at Ryan’s (Sarah’s bro) brand new WaterBeast of a jetski down at the beach after lunch, accidentally getting it airborne off the chop on the first run. Eased back off the gas on the next few runs (didn’t want my bank balance getting wrecked in a jetski dingle,
y’know?). Plus my ribs wouldn’t have withstood any more of Sarah’s terrified, vice-like squeezes.
- Got taken for a wee trip up to the top of One Tree Hill by Sarah’s mum, Lynn, and took in the views of Auckland (yep, it’s definitely got a lot of waterways and old volcanoes) from the top. Wicked thing was that sheep were still allowed to graze in the parkland below – the greenest lawnmowers money can buy. Take note, Campbell!!
- Did a solo walking tour of inner city Auckland – won’t bore you all with my town-planner impressions but Vulcan Lane was nifty, their new Entertainment Centre looks the goods and the Viaduct harbour area reminded me of Sydney’s Circular Quay. Not too shabby.
Piha
- Went on a day trip with Sarah and her sister Monica from Auckland to Piha, New Zealand’s most famous surf beach on the wild’n’windswept west coast of the Auckland. It’s a Naomi Campbell sort of place, ie stunningly gorgeous in a wild sort of way but cold and harsh and quite obviously ready to smack the bejeesus out of you if you don’t pay it the proper respect.
- Awesome scenery, black volcanic sands, big angry surf, small cluster of development clinging to the bottom of the Waitakere Ranges that cli
mb skyward directly behind the beach dunes etc. Climbed Lion Rock (see piccies), ignoring rockfall “Stop Here” signs and b*stard stabbing-thorn-encrusted gorse. Didn’t fall off. Result!
- Trekked up the KiteKite Track to the 3-tiered KiteKite Falls and swam in what was easily The Coldest Water I’ve Ever Experienced. It was so frigid that it made me emotional. Had a lump in my throat and everything, and it wasn’t because my Jatz Crackers had zipped northwards at the first step into the shallows, either. Brutal stuff. The swim under the waterfall itself was like being vigourously beaten about the head and shoulders by hundreds of psychotic children wielding frozen pool noodles. Emerged from the water feeling like I’d been set on fire. Mmmm, invigorating.
Northland: Kai Iwi Lakes , Tane Mahuta and Tauroa Point
Drove north from Auckland to the Northland and, after a stop to visit some family friends, stopped at Kai Iwi lakes, which were gorgeous. We had a swimbo and picnic lunch, then resumed our northward journey up to the point. Far too civilised and relaxed to have anything comical to say about it. Oy said, noyce one, bruvva.
- Stopped to have a look at Tane Mahuta, a mammoth kauri pine in Waipoua Forest 
and New Zealand ’s most famous tree. Estimated to be between 1250 and 2500 years old (meaning it was probably fully mature a few hundred years before the Roman Empire came on the scene), the big fella stands over 51 metres tall, nearly 14 metres in girth and even appears to have another huge tree growing out of the fork at the top of it’s trunk. Not the kind of thing you want falling on you.
- Next stop was at Tauroa Point. Stopped and walked out along the headland, taking in the bay and the coastline – tres spectacular. Made me come over all windswept-and-mysterious like.
Ahipara
- Spent 4 days at this small coastal community on the North Island ’s west coast, at the southernmost tip of 90 Mile Beach. Surfed, ate good nosh and hung out with Sarah’s family and family friends from her childhood.
- Sandboarded down the big sand dunes around the southern point (inbetween the ignorant tossers on quadbikes and dirtbikes continuously racing up and down the dunes and generally irritating the living sh*t out of everyone else within 5kms) before hitting the surf. Immediately lost the bodyboard I’d borrowed when the strap got yanked off my wrist by a wave, only to watch Sarah’s friend Kate almost got dashed against the rocks on her surfboard trying to save it. She missed it, and then had to paddle like a demon for ages against the heaving current to get away from the rocks. Sarah managed to snag it from around the other side of the rocks and got it back to me (my hero *swoon*). Got out and shame-facedly handed the bodyboard back to the kids on the beach, then took Kate’s surfboard out when she came in 5 minutes later, utterly tanked from her frantic escape job. Who invited me?!!?!?- Collected tua tuas (shellfish) in the surf with our feet. Literally – you walk into the shallows and screw your foot down into the sand and they’re everywhere. Felt very Bush Tucker Man. Without the skill. Or the hat. The tua-tua’s were cooked in a big pot that night and devoured – delish.
- Had a 20 minute ‘go at kiteboarding (which involves using a big ol’ kite to pull you along the beach with your feet strapped into what looks like a 4WD skateboard) along 90 Mile Beach – got my feet in the straps a few times but mostly it involved being yanked bodily through the air and sprinting leaning back at a 45-degree angle as the kite “took me walkies”. Some people, not realising I was a rank amateur, decided to walk directly under the kite and the lines. Obviously they missed the 10 times I’d sent the thing plummeting into the beach like a meteor. Could’ve been interesting if I’d had Plummet #11 while they were strolling on through.- After the whole family-and-friends crew hooked-and-baited it up for a second time, I got to paddle the long-line out to sea in a kayak (minimal waves so it wasn’t too hairy). Good fun. Could barely see the teeny figures on the beach waving to me in the dusk to let me know I’d gone far enough. Helped reel it in both times as well (team effort), plus we landed a decent-sized taylor . Yasssssssss!
- Jumped in the 4WD with Sarah, her Dad John and friend Mike, drove out around the point over the rocks all the way up the rocky, inaccessible coastline to “Pickersville” (a seasonal shanty town on the beach further south from Ahipara where locals who support themselves by collecting and selling shellfish live for part of the year). ‘Twas a wee adventure dodging razor-edged rocks, sinky sand and other 4WDers / dune-buggies.Kawakawa, Bay of Islands
- Saw the world-famous Hundertwasser public toilet. W-o-w. Look this baby up on the web, words don’t adequately describe its Dali-esque beauty. Excellently, the same motif and design features appear to be spreading out along the street as if the other small shops, street signs etc are catching it, like a cheerful art virus.
Tapuaetahi
- Went snorkelling and nearly swam right over the top of a massive black stingray I at first mistook for a swordfish lying on the bottom (until the wings came into view). Realised what I was hovering above at the same time Monica grabbed my arm and pulled me away. Steve Irwin Moment: avoided.
- Went for a walk through and around a Maori settlement on the coast, trekked up through the bush along a river, then attempted to round the headland clambering over hexagonal volcanic extruded rocks. Almost got there but the big blowhole cave at the point cut us off.
Visited yet more family friends (they’re popular, these Pausinas)
Auckland Again
- After another frigid snorkel and a quick roadside pizza dinner outside a nifty country pub, we spent most of New Year’s Eve driving back to Auckland . Bonfires in people’s back and front yards seem to be the thing to do on New Year’s Eve in NZ. Hide your matches from any Kiwis you know around bushfire season.
Coromandels and Surrounds
- Spectacular scenery, winding coastal drives. Stayed one night with yet more of Sarah’s family’s friends. Went to Hahei (beach town that Sarah’s family used to frequent when Sarah was a 
wee’un), then Cathedral Cove and Stingray Bay (gorgeous) for a snorkel. Had a school of huge snapper following us around the point at arm’s length. Get that into ye, Attenborough!- Stinky. Steam wafting out of gutters and storm drains. Copped a free look over a fence in a pub
carpark at the geysers in the tourist park going crazy (apparently they’re more active now that the Rotorua Council’s banned the hotels from using the thermal energy for heating).- Stopped at Huka Falls for lunch and watched Nature’s water cannon thumping gargantuan amounts of H20 through the gorge hard enough to ruin your whole day if you fell in. Spectacular. And loud.
- Drove through Lake Taupo (quite a large lake, yes) and, further south, The Desert. Eerie place, up on the central plateau there. Very desolate, no trees, empty undulating landscape, like being in another country. Perhaps an Eastern European one. Only without mullets and tracksuits. Hang on, that was back in Lake Taupo …………..
Wanganui River
- Did a 4 day-3 night canoe trip down the Wanganui with Sarah’s folks and a group of their friends. While it wasn’t too violent (grade 1 apparently), there were near-divorces a-plenty on the first day as the people in the rear of each boat fought to steer the damn things while the people in the front also fought to steer the damn things. John and Lynn came a cropper on a mid-stream tree and had their canoe folded in half, leading to a bit of mid-river Barrel Rescue from yours truly. Got treated to spectacular scenery all the way along, visited some truly interesting sites (The Bridge to Nowhere, film locations for The 
River Queen, old Maori battle sites etc etc), had great weather, got some solid 
exercise and didn’t get tipped out once. Bring on the Zambeze..JPG)
- Rec.JPG)
ently named as the best one-day trek in the world by Lonely Planet, the Crossing was one of the things we’d wanted to do prior to the canoe trip (bad weather shut the whole thing down the day before though). The New Zealand media was in a frenzy over such an honour being bestowed upon one of the local attractions, which naturally resulted in a mass of tourists starting the trek in the dawn light at the same time as us. Hoo-frickin’-ray. Still, that didn’t really detract from it. It’s an epic walk. Mt Doom (as the English tourists all insisted on calling Mt Ngauruhoe), the Emerald Lakes, Blue Lake, steaming vents, ice crystals in the shadows of boulders, mineral spring waterfalls, alien landscapes, multiple ecosystems – spectacular doesn’t begin to describe it all. 
It had some heavy-exertion climbs, but by far the toughest part was the 2-and-a-half-hour downward thump to the finish line, knees jarring every step of the way. Fantastic weather though, just perfect. I mean sensational perfect. Did I mention the weather was good? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.- Finished off the day by stopping for a spur-of-the-moment, ice-cold dip at a pebbly trout-fishing
spot on the crystal clear 
Tongariro River (mainly to ice our feet and knees). Easily one of the highlights of the entire trip. We could see foot-long trout swimming lazily against the current metres away, the rapids upstream and downstream of us provided the s
oundtrack, the sun was shining, the pebbles 
of the ‘beach’ we were on were warm, and there wasn’t another soul around. Magical.
